Also known as the glutton of Hythe,
Ate his mother with cheese and chives,
And a dash of honey from her hives.
Polished her off with his morning tea,
Before eating his Dad at ten-past three,
His Aunty Flo he swallowed whole,
After a helping of Dover sole.
But his tummy still rumbled and he called for more,
And he ate the spaniel from next door,
The neighbours yelled so he ate them up,
Then washed them down with some barley cup,
And a nice Chianti and a bottle of pop,
Before eating the woman from the corner shop,
Will I never be full? he sadly cried,
As he choked on a rib and promptly died.
And they buried him out on the deep blue sea,
As he’d eaten the priest for last night’s tea.
Copyright © Max Scratchmann. All Rights Reserved